


sweet tooth

by aquila_tequila



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23884768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquila_tequila/pseuds/aquila_tequila
Summary: sweet tooth - cavetownsweet tooth - scott helmanconnor gets a song recommendation from evan. he listens to the wrong song. a whole lot of shenanigans ensue.to being gay disasters.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy, Original Female Character/Original Female Character
Comments: 13
Kudos: 85





	1. a recommendation

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to my first actual work i guess. enjoy? hopefully you enjoy.

"Hey, Connor, listen to this song, it, uh, it reminded me of you a-a bit? It's called Sweet Tooth, it's a pretty nice song, I think you'd, uh, like it."

Connor lifted his head from _To Kill A Mockingbird_ and looked at Evan. "What?"

"I said, uh, I found a song, and it-it reminded me of, um, you. You don't have to listen or anything, I just-"

"What's it called again?" Connor had to suppress a smile at the way Evan's expression instantly brightened. _This boy is a puppy. Fucking adorable and too pure for this world._

"Sweet Tooth," Evan said. "It's a cool song, I like it, even though it's kinda different from what I usually listen to?" Evan tended to end his sentences like he wasn't sure if what he was saying was actually true, even if it was his own opinion, Connor had noticed. 

"Sure, I'll give it a listen when I get home. I left my headphones at home, so."

Evan grinned, and Connor almost had a heart attack. _This boy will be the death of me someday._

Connor flipped onto his bed, tired from another bout of arguing with Larry. This time it had been about how he was _always out with that boy_ and _never spent any time studying_ and how his father _didn't raise his son to throw his life away for a homosexual phase._

If only Evan actually was his boyfriend. At least then it'd be true as well as fucking annoying. 

_The song,_ Connor remembered. Pulling out his phone and digging his headphones out of his desk drawer, he searched 'sweet tooth' on Spotify.

_Sweet Tooth - Cavetown._

Connor pressed play. 

_Feeling sick_

_Of myself_

_Think I'll try to be someone else_

_Can't be hard to paint a person_

_In my head create a version_

_A parallel_

Connor chuckled to himself. _That's definitely me._

_Pull my head out the sand_

_Try as hard as I can_

_Guess I must be satisfactory_

_You said you love me exactly the way I am_

_And you know I find it hard to understand_

Connor frowned. _You said you love me exactly the way I am?_ Evan and Connor had definitely told each other that they loved them, but there had always been an air of "no homo" to it - despite the fact that Connor was gay and Evan was bisexual. (There had been notorious teasing from Jared about Evan moving from one Murphy to the other, which Connor had tried to brush off without getting his hopes up.)

He kept listening as the chorus played. 

_Pay a visit to the doctor 'cause I have_

_A sweet tooth for you I'm wide awake_

_The sugar went straight to my brain_

_Feel like a kid, I double tap_

_My chest with my fist_

_I like you_

_Say it back_

_Say it back_

Connor's eyes widened. _No. No way. Absolutely not. One hundred percent not at all, what the fuck, what the fuck._

Connor forced himself to calm down. If Evan were to…hypothetically…tell Connor that he liked him, then he wouldn't be this cryptic. Evan knew Connor hated riddles, and wouldn't've gotten Connor to do any sort of mental gymnastics. Evan would just tell him. Outright. Right?

_God._

Connor stopped the song from continuing to play and instead opened his texts. He tapped on the contact labelled _tree nerd_ , and started typing.

_so sweet tooth…is a love song? dude, didn't take you for the romantic type_

Sent. 

Almost instantly, there was a reply. 

_What? Are you sure you have the right song? The song I listened to is definitely not a love song_

Connor frowned.

_what_

_sweet tooth by cavetown right_

Three dots typing.

_Uhh_

_No_

_Sweet Tooth by Scott Helmand_

He exhaled sharply.

_oh_

_oops_

Connor stared at the messages.

“Fuck.”

Connor fell asleep listening to Sweet Tooth by Cavetown that night.


	2. a chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's oc time babey

Connor woke, and the first thing he noticed was that his earbuds had gotten tangled around his wrist. Stifling a yawn, he sat up and checked his phone battery.  _ 13%. Damn. _ He plugged in his phone and went in search of breakfast in the kitchen.

Zoe was sitting on the counter, eating a waffle and scrolling on her phone, and Connor almost backtracked. Did he have the energy to interact with her today, after getting sucker punched by his own emotions the previous night?

Thankfully, Zoe finished her waffle and hopped off the counter before he could say anything, and left the room. Connor poured himself some cereal, and sat at the kitchen table.

Evan was waiting for him outside the school building. Connor stifled a smile. He'd had first started waiting for him after Connor had made an offhand comment, just in passing.

_ “Yeah, I usually walk to class alone. Not that I have any other friends but you anyway.” Connor had smiled bitterly. _

_ “Dude, that’s so sad! I-I mean, it’s sad that nobody, uh, waits for you, I mean-” _

_ “Hansen, chill. I don’t mind it really, it’s just kinda a reminder that nobody actually wants to be around me. I’m used to it.” _

_ Evan had frowned. “I…” he had trailed off, whispering something that Connor couldn’t hear. _

_ “What was that?” _

_ “Uh! I just said, I, um, I like being around you? I think you’re cool, and, uh, you have a-a kind of...I don’t know the word! Aura? No, that sounds like some sort of weird witch thing and I don’t know about all that stuff and I’m rambling again shit I’m sorry-” _

_ “Hansen. Again. Chill. You can ramble if you want. Also, elaborate on the aura thing?” _

_ Evan had taken a deep breath. “Uh. Well. I guess, to strangers, it seems like you hate everything, but that’s not true! I’ve seen you reading, and I know you have a sketchbook - I didn’t look inside, don’t worry! I just saw it poking out of your bag one time, uh, and I just thought it was cool cause you didn’t seem like the arty type? I don’t know! But anyway, back to my point, um…” Evan had paused for a second, and Connor could see the gears turning in his brain. “At first glance, you seem like your typical teen emo. But, you’re so much more than that. And anyone who doesn’t like you is probably an idiot.” _

_ Connor had blinked, suddenly realising there were tears in his eyes. “Uh. Didn’t...didn’t know you could make up poetry on the spot, Hansen.” _

_ Evan had smiled a little. “If you want, I can, uh, walk with you? To class?” _

_ Connor had stared at him. “You’re asking me. If I want you to walk with me. To class.” _

_ “Uh! Sorry, I just thought, that uh, from what you were saying, uh-” _

_ Connor had punched him in the arm. “Dumbass. ‘Course you can walk to class with me. I’ve been a loner for years, god knows I could use some company.” _

“Hey, Hansen,” Connor failed to look Evan in the eye.

“Hi, Connor! I, uh, you listened to the song, right?”

“Hm?”

“Sweet Tooth. You got the wrong one the first time, r-right?”

“Oh, right, yeah.” Connor cringed at how robotic he sounded. “I think I forgot to listen to the other one, whoops.”

“Oh. Well, uh, see you in English!” Connor looked up to see that they had reached Evan’s first class - biology - and that he had a hand on the door, ready to enter the classroom.

“Oh, right, yeah, bye.” Connor gave a two-fingered salute, and continued walking down the halls to his first class - physics.

As he made his way through the halls, Connor thought to himself.

_ You’re an idiot. Did you actually think for a second that Evan would like you? _

_ Fuck off. I know I’m an idiot. But I don’t have the energy to deal with you today. _

_ So desperate for someone to like you. He’d never like you. He’s just too nice for his own good. You’re just a nothing, a charity case for him to feel good about himself. _

_ Go away. I don’t need my inner demons today, I need to be able to focus on class. _

_ You know, a teacher probably told him to be nice to you. He’s probably scared of you. Why else would he be so nice to you? He just doesn’t want you to hurt him, to punch him, to kill him like everyone expects you to. Like he expects you to. _

“Fuck  _ off! _ ” Connor slammed his fist into the wall of the corridor, and felt a jolt of pain go through his wrist. “Fuck!”

A door slammed open, and Connor jerked round to see the imposing figure of his psychology teacher, Mrs Autumn, marching towards him.

“Mr Murphy! What on earth are you doing? Did you just punch the wall? And I don’t tolerate that sort of language, no matter how angry you are! Apologise.”

Connor liked Mrs Autumn, but right now she was terrifying. “Sorry,” he muttered, staring at the floor.

“Apologise to the wall, not the floor. And apologise to yourself for hurting your hand.”

Connor raised an eyebrow at the woman, who simply crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow back. Despite being a full foot shorter, she seemed to tower over Connor.

“Sorry, wall. And sorry...me?”

“That’s mildly better, although it could use some work. Now, what class do you have first?”

“Um. Physics? Speaking of, I should...go. There.”

“Uh, yeah, no. If you’re in such a state that you’re going to punch a wall, you’re not going to class. I’ll cover for you. Sit in my office, I don’t have class first period anyway.”

Connor blinked. “What?”

“You heard me.” Mrs Autumn held the door open to her office, and didn’t move until Connor slowly stepped inside.

“So. Can I ask what drove you to hurt yourself and the architecture of this place? I know it’s kinda terrible, but I don’t think a single punch is going to level the school. If that was your intention, I get the feeling arson would be more effective.” Mrs Autumn’s eyes twinkled as she poured a cup of tea.  _ Where did she get tea? This isn’t just her office, I don’t think.  _ Connor’s eyes swept the room.  _ No, definitely shared. _

“Connor?”

“Huh? Wait, what was the question?”

“I asked why you hit the wall.”

“Oh.”  _ Because Evan probably hates me and is terrified of me, just like everyone else. _ “I guess, stress?”

“Hmm.” Mrs Autumn pursed her lips. “I’ve seen stress with many people, and you don’t strike - ha, strike - me as the type to hit a wall. You’re a logical person, Connor, and I think stress isn’t the only thing bothering you.”

Connor stared. “Uh. Are you a therapist?”

“I’m a psychology teacher, Connor.”

“Oh. Right.” Connor looked down and fiddled with the strings of his hoodie. “Uh…”

“Take your time.” Mrs Autumn pushed his cup closer to him.

“Ok. Well. There’s this boy. And, I like him. A lot.”

“Nice.”

Connor smiled a bit. “And, last night, he told me to listen to a song. And I listened to the wrong one? I listened to a love song, and thought it was the song he told me to listen to, and got it mixed up. And I asked him if it was a love song, because I literally could not believe it, and…”

“Oh, honey.” Mrs Autumn leaned forward to pat Connor on the back.

“Yeah. I got it wrong. And I hit the wall ‘cause I’m an idiot.”

“Hey. Negative self-talk doesn’t help. Try rephrase that more constructively.”

Connor frowned. “I punched the wall because...I don’t know how to properly feel things except anger?”

“Mm, little better. Try again.”

“Uh, I punched the wall because anger is the only way I know how to cope with other emotions?”

“And?”

“And...that isn’t my fault.” Connor remembered the magic words from his monthly therapy sessions.

“Bingo.” Mrs Autumn finger gunned at him. “Y’know, me and my wife, Erin, we were disasters from the start. I didn’t know I was on a date until she kissed me, and when I expressed my shock she told me that it was our fifth date.”

Connor gaped. “Wife?”

Mrs Autumn’s gaze turned steely. “Yes. Wife. Problem?”

“No! I mean, I thought every teacher was straight? Also, I just told you about this boy that I’m hopelessly gay for?”

“True,” she chuckled, and raised her teacup. “To being gay disasters.”

“To being gay disasters,” Connor echoed, and drained his cup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mrs autumn is my oc and i love her, her name is olivia autumn and she's married to erin redcolt and they're very gay and i love them both ok bye  
> kudos comment etc love y'all


	3. a confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for this chapter: homophobic slurs - specifically the f slur, and evan has a panic attack  
> i'm sorry in advance

Connor slid into his seat next to Evan just as the bell rang.

“Hey,” Evan said. Connor grunted in response, too tired from the emotional drainage from Mrs Autumn’s chat.

Class went on uneventfully. The teacher droned on about a book that Connor had already read, people asked dumb questions that grated on the teacher’s nerves, and Connor sat in silence. Normality.

The bell rang, and Connor walked with Evan to their next class together - biology.

“S-so, how was physics?” Evan broke the silence as they traversed the halls.

“Uh, I didn’t actually go to physics.”

“Skipped?”

“Nah, a teacher heard me punch a wall and wanted to chat.”

“Uh. Break that d-down? You punched, uh, a wall, and a teacher...didn’t give you d-detention? And, um, chatted. With you?”

“Yeah, my psychology teacher. Mrs Autumn.”

“So, uh, c-can I ask why you punched the w-wall?”

“Hey, Murphy! You walking with your boyfriend? Didn’t know they let fags just walk around like that, shouldn’t you be in an asylum? Y’know, cause you’re a fucking freak too!”

_ Goddamn it. _

The asshole that spoke, a short, white-looking boy with a buzzcut and who looked like he injected Monster energy drinks into his bloodstream hourly, stalked closer to where Connor had stopped, stock-still. “I’m talking to you, faggot. You deaf as well?”

“S-shut up!”  _ Evan. _ “Y-you, uh, don’t t-talk to my f-friend like that!”  _ Oh no. _

“Hansen, shut up right now.”

“N-no! You d-don’t deserve to b-be treated l-like that!”

_ Dear, sweet, kind lord, if you turn out to be real, please protect this boy from the harm I know is about to come. _

“Oh, so your boyfriend is standing up for you? Well, I’ve got two hands, so,” the boy grinned and grabbed both of them by the front of their shirts.

Connor gritted his teeth as he let himself get dragged to a nearby bathroom.  _ Shit. _ The bathroom was empty. The douchebag, who Connor decided to call Kyle, shoved them both into a stall and locked it behind him, leaving Connor and Evan squashed against the toilet, which stank of urine.

“Ok, fags, if you say anything I’ll fucking drown you.” Kyle pulled something out of his pocket and wrapped it around Evan’s wrist. Connor glanced down and saw that it was a zip tie.  _ Shit. What’s he gonna do?? _

“Now you, freak.” Connor gritted his teeth as he felt the sharp edge of the zip tie bite into the skin of his left wrist.

He heard Evan stifle a sob, and felt his heart break.  _ Fuck. _

“Now, I think you’d love some quality time together, huh?” Kyle smirked, and Connor had to resist the urge to spit in his face. He heard Evan continue to try not to cry, and prayed that Kyle didn’t notice. Thankfully, the douchebag left without any more words.

Connor took a deep breath. “Shit.” His left wrist had been zip tied to the door, through the gap under the door between two stalls. His right wrist was shackled to Evan’s left.

Evan started to properly cry, and Connor whipped around to face him. “Hey, shit, uh, it’s ok, we’re gonna get out of this, fuck,” Connor tried to comfort Evan. In response, the boy started to hyperventilate. “Shit. Uh, Hansen. Look at me. Ok? Uh, what’s five things you can see. Shit. Look at me, please?” Evan kept hyperventilating and Connor felt himself start to panic too. Sure, he’d been in situations similar to this before, but never with a crying Evan. Come to think of it, he’d never seen Evan cry. He was always anxious, sure, but never like this.

“Evan, listen to me. Tell me what your name is.”

“E-E-Evan,” he shakily responded.

“Ok, what’s my name?”

“C-Connor. Connor M-Murphy.”

“That’s good. How old are we?”

“S-seventeen.” Evan’s breathing was leveling out.

“Good. What can you see right now?”

“Um. I, I can see your face, and the wall of the toilet stall, and zip ties. We’re zip tied together.”

“Yes, I noticed. Are you calmer now?”

“Y-yeah. Thanks.”

“Dude, you were crying on me. I’m not gonna just leave you like that - oh my god!” Connor was knocked back by Evan launching himself at him. He was hugging him. Hard.  _ Oh my god. _ “Dude, uh. We’re in a toilet stall.”

Evan didn’t move. “Hansen?”  _ Oh, shit, he’s crying again. _ “Evan, are you good right now?”

“Y-yeah. I’m, uh, good. Just tense. And c-crying. And, um, in a toilet stall. Zip tied to my b-best friend. After a p-panic attack. Ok I’m not as good as I thought, shit.”

Connor laughed. “Come on. Got any scissors in your bag?”

After a few minutes of awkwardly shuffling around to open Evan’s pencil case and grab the pair of scissors, the two cut themselves free. Connor breathed a sigh of relief, and Evan almost started crying again. The pair attempted to clean off the urine that they had picked up from the disgusting bathroom stall, and gave up after 10 minutes of paper towels and irritation.

“Let’s just skip the rest of school. I’m already burned out, and we smell disgusting, so let’s just go to my place. I know my parents are both at work, so they won’t know that we’ve skipped.” Connor turned to Evan, who was trying to dry his hair off with a paper towel. The paper towel, instead of drying anything, had shredded itself into a wet-paper mess all through Evan’s hair.

“Y-yeah, that might, uh, be a g-good plan. I’m kind of dying h-here.”

“Well, let’s get out of here. Hopefully nobody’s in the hallway, otherwise we might be in for an interesting conversation,” Connor smiled.

Evan shuddered. “Please, don’t jinx it.”

The two of them made it out of the school without being spotted, and they hopped into Connor’s car with a sigh of relief. “So. Home.” Connor started up the car, and they drove off in the direction of Connor’s house.

“C-Connor?” Evan’s hesitant voice filled the car.

“Yeah?”

“Are you…doing ok?”

_ This boy, I swear. _ “Yeah, I’m good, why?”

“Because you just got zip-tied to me? In a bathroom stall? And got called, uh. Got called…”

“Yeah? I mean, that’s not exactly anything I haven’t been through before,” he laughed bitterly. Evan didn’t respond, and Connor saw him droop a bit out of the corner of his eye. “Hey, I’m ok, y’know. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I do w-worry though. Like, what if, uh, you got seriously injured? What if you got punched in the gut and you broke a rib or got your nose broken and you lost a lot of blood and had to go to the hospital and weren’t able to recover oh my god what if you died??” Evan said so quickly that Connor could barely catch it.

“Woah Hansen, slow down. I’m not gonna die from a school bully, he’d get charged for murder. Or manslaughter. They are monumentally stupid, yes, but not stupid enough to kill me and risk jail time,” Connor almost laughed. Evan seemed to relax a little. “Ok, anyway, we’re here now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes yikes yikes i didn't know how to end this whoops  
> i also don't know how to write dialogue for homophobic douches send help  
> this was originally only half of a chapter but it got way too long and so i split it  
> let me know what you think! who here wants to absolutely deck kyle into a pit of venomous snakes? because i sure do!  
> anyway, love y'all, kudos comment etc!


	4. a disaster of a day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which connor is a hopeless gay mess.  
> enjoy :)

Connor switched off the car and hopped out. “Come on, we both need a shower. You go first, I don’t suppose you have a change of clothes?”

“No. Uh. I can run home, i-if you want…”

“Nah, just borrow some of mine. I think we’re about the same size? Might be a bit loose.” Connor didn’t trust himself to look at Evan as he felt his face flushing. He unlocked the door and kicked off his shoes. “You know where the bathroom is, yeah? I’ll leave you a shirt and shorts outside the door. Lemme grab your bag and I’ll dump it in my room.”

“O-ok. Should I just, uh, go shower now?”

“Yeah, dude. Have fun, don’t get eaten by the shower demon that lives in Zoe’s shampoo bottles!”

“S-shut up!” Evan huffed, and scampered off to the bathroom, leaving Connor to sigh.

_ He’s going to be wearing your clothes. _

_ Shut up, it’s not weird. Is it weird? _

_ 100% weird. _

_ Damn. Can’t really take it back now though. _

Connor shook his head to dispel the internal arguing, and headed to his room.

Connor was sitting on the floor, reading, when Evan came back from the shower.

“H-hey, uh. I’m done, if y-you’re going to, uh, use the shower.” Connor looked up and short-circuited.

Evan was wearing the clothes Connor had left - a black shirt with a Fall Out Boy design on it, and one of his many pairs of ripped black jeans. His hair looked soft and fluffy, and Connor was seized with the urge to run his fingers through it.

And  _ oh my god, he’s hot. _

“Uh, Connor? You, uh, ok?”

Connor snapped out of his trance. “Right! Yes, uh, shit. I’ll go, yes. Ok. Bye.” With robotic movements, he hastily made his way out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom.

_ Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my sweet fucking jesus. _

As soon as Connor stepped out of the shower, he realised that he’d made a fundamental mistake. He’d forgotten to bring his change of clothes.

_ Shit. _

Sighing, he wrapped a towel around his waist and reluctantly walked back to his room. “Hansen? Just a warning, I forgot my clothes so I’m in a towel. I’m coming in now.” Connor knew Evan didn’t like people entering rooms without a knock or anything, and didn’t think he’d enjoy the prospect of a half-naked Connor barging in without any warning.

He opened the door and quickly made his way to his closet, ignoring the blush that was creeping its way across his face. He grabbed a pair of jeans and an old button-up shirt, and hastily pulled them on, trying not to dislodge the towel that covered his lower half. Sucking in a breath, he turned around and flopped onto his bed with a groan, not looking at where Evan was sitting on his desk chair.

_ This has been a disaster of a day. _

“Y-yeah, it has.” Evan’s voice filled the air.

Connor rolled over to look at him. “Did I say that out loud?”

“Um. Yes? Did, uh, did you n-not mean to?”

“Ugh. Not really.”

“Um…” Evan looked down at the ground. Connor knew he was itching to say something.

“Yeah?”

“Wanna...watch a movie? O-or something?”

Connor smiled. “You always seem to know what’ll cheer me up.”

Evan grinned, and Connor sighed internally.

_ I really am in love. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this. is. a. clunky. ending. and. it's. too. short. and. i. don't. like. it. ugh.  
> anyway, connor needs to calm his gay ass down, evan is wholesome and we love him, and i need to hurry up and write more, faster.  
> hope you enjoyed, comment kudos etc, ily'all!


	5. a confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's evan time babey  
> pov switch! evan gets a turn at narration! fun times and gay shenanigans are about to take place! rock n roll buckaroos cause it's about to go down

Evan fiddled with the hem of Connor’s hoodie. It was almost 6 o’clock in the evening, and he was starting to get anxious. Would he be staying over? What if he asked and Connor said no? What if he said yes?? What if he said something stupid, or insensitive, or something that he wasn’t supposed to say?

What if Connor found out that he’d lied?

In hindsight, he hadn’t planned to lie. He’d planned to confess, and be upfront, but could never muster up the courage.

So he’d recommended a song. Sweet Tooth, by Cavetown. A very, very, romance-confession-focused song.

He’d planned on confessing the fact that he’d been crushing on Connor since, like, forever, regardless of whether he felt the same. Because Evan had had enough of lying to everyone.

It was a reflex to him, to lie.

_ “Hey, what’d you get up to last weekend?” _

_ “O-oh, nothing much. Uh, I mostly j-just did, uh, homework. And stuff. Why do y-you even care, Jared?” _

_ “Dude, I need you to work with me here, I can’t get my insurance money if you tell your mom I’m a dick. Anyway, later, tree-fucker.” _

He’d laid on his bed for most of the daytime, and barely moved. It had been a depressive episode, and he’d been lucky not to still feel like shit when Monday had rolled around.

_ “Did you eat today, hun?” _

_ “Uh. Yeah, I d-did.” _

_ “You did? Oh, I’m so proud of you! Keep working on your confidence, I’m so happy you’re getting better at talking to people!” _

_ “Thanks, Mom.” _

He’d been hungry the entire night, and had toyed with the idea of sneaking into the kitchen for a midnight snack, but decided against it when he remembered there was barely anything to eat anyway.

And then, the text from Connor.

_ so sweet tooth…is a love song? dude, didn't take you for the romantic type _

Evan had been so ready to say yes, to finally confess the secret that had been eating away at him for years. But he’d lied instead.

_ What? Are you sure you have the right song? The song I listened to is definitely not a love song _

He’d quickly googled “sweet tooth song” and selected the first option that wasn’t by Cavetown, and typed in the name of the artist - Scott Helman.

Evan had groaned, long and loud, and planted his face into the pillow. Confessing would have to wait.

Now, Evan was wearing Connor’s clothes, sitting on his bed, and they were watching a movie. Together.

This was, as Connor had said a few hours ago, a disaster of a day.

Evan, who was leaning cross-legged against the wall, glanced at Connor, who was sprawled across the bed, lying on his stomach with his head resting on his hands. Come to think of it, he didn’t seem to be looking at the laptop screen, where Howl’s Moving Castle was quietly playing. Was he asleep? Evan couldn’t tell. Either way, he looked absolutely adorable.

_ Shut up. He’d probably find it super weird that you’re checking him out. _

_ But he’s really cute! _

_ Shut up. _

“Connor? Are...are you awake?” Evan hesitantly spoke.

Connor didn’t respond.

_ Oh my god, he’s definitely asleep. _

Evan flinched as Connor shifted slightly.  _ Shit. I woke him up. _ Connor rolled over and opened his eyes, blinking blearily. “Did I fall asleep?” he murmured. Evan couldn’t help but smile at how adorable Connor Murphy could be.  _ All it took was some zip ties, a toilet stall, and a Studio Ghibli movie _ , he thought.

“Ugh. I’m really tired. That probably destroyed my entire sleep schedule,” Connor groaned.

“D-did you have, uh, one to b-begin with?” Evan joked.

Connor snickered. “Fair. What’s the time?”

“Like, 5:47. I should p-probably go, uh, go home. Soon.”

“Eh, stay over. My parents don’t care enough to object. Mom’ll probably be delighted that I actually have friends, to be honest,” he smiled.

“Uh. I m-mean, I don’t w-want to intrude…” Evan could feel his heart speeding up.  _ Oh my god. _

“You’re fine, dude. You’re not intruding or anything, relax.”

“You’re aware of m-my crippling a-anxiety, right?” Evan sarcastically remarked.

“Shut up. Just stay over. As long as you can handle Mom’s cooking, then you’re gonna survive.”

“G-good to know.”

_ Holy shit. He asked you to stay over. Oh my god. Don’t panic. Don’t be weird. Don’t say anything stupid. Oh my god. _

“Ugh. I should get up.” Connor stretched, and Evan sucked in a breath as his shirt rode up, exposing his stomach.  _ Fuck. _ He gently smacked his head against the wall.  _ You absolute gay dumbass. _

The meal was a slightly uneasy silence. Evan tried not to let his dislike of the nacho-mushroom-gasoline meal show on his face. Zoe, who Evan had only heard about from Connor, stayed silent, similar to the Murphy parents. Eventually, Evan and Connor headed upstairs to Connor’s room, where they immediately collapsed onto his bed. “A-are your parents always that, uh…”

“Annoying? Invasive? Controlling? I have a list of adjectives I could use to describe them, don't even get me started,” Connor replied.

Evan snickered. "Well, sorry for not really saying anything. Your parents probably think I'm a loser."

“Hey, it's fine,” Connor said, and Evan almost had a heart attack when he felt a hand on top of his own. He looked down at the black-painted nails that were resting on his hand, and swallowed nervously.

“I. Uh. Should p-probably tell you something,” Evan gulped. His palms were definitely getting sweaty now, he was starting to hyperventilate a little, was it too late to back out? “I, um…”

Connor’s hand shifted in his own, and suddenly their fingers were intertwined. Evan took a deep breath. “I m-may have, uh, lied. About that s-song. Sweet Tooth. Uh. I originally meant to tell you about Sweet Tooth by Cavetown and then I froze and panicked and backtracked and lied and I'm really sorry I have a crush on you and I'm a mess of a person please don't hate me!”

Evan was definitely hyperventilating now.  _ Shit.  _ “C-Connor?”

He hadn't moved. He hadn't said anything. Connor's face was a neutral mask.

And suddenly, Evan felt himself being tackled in a hug.

“I like you too, Evan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had fun writing this chapter, albeit the face that i kinda forgot about it for a week  
> also in case you have my checked my profile, i have a whole lotta oneshots now! please please go check them out, i recently sorted them into a better format as well! i take requests, and also if the request is for a different fandom i will still write it dw.  
> anyway, comment kudos etc, let me know what you think! ily'all, and see you in the next chapter 👀


	6. a kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW i really gotta stop forgetting about this fic, anyways enjoy!  
> (we're back to connor's pov btw)

Connor couldn't believe it. Not only did Evan like him, he even confessed? To him? Connor would've been proud if he wasn't currently busy hugging Evan like his life depended on it.

“I like you too,” he said again. “I really, really like you. God, I'm struggling to believe that you even like me. I just...I really like you, Evan.”

Connor felt Evan hugging back, and squeezed tighter. “I-I’m glad. I’d been, uh, kinda trying to b-build up the courage to, uh, say that. For a l-long time.”

“Hey, Evan.” Connor pulled back from the hug to look Evan in the eyes. “Will you go on a date with me?”

To say Evan’s eyes lit up would be an understatement. The look on his face was quite literally the happiest Connor had ever seen him, and he couldn't help but smile as Evan nodded frantically.

“Y-yes, duh. Of c-course I want to g-go on a date with y-you!”

“Ok, just checking,” Connor laughed.

“You, uh. You should smile more. It’s r-really pretty.” Evan’s face was red, and Connor could feel himself going red too.

“Really?”

“Y-yeah.”

The two boys stared at each other.

Slowly, Connor leaned closer, heart racing. Evan placed his hand on the side of Connor’s face.

They met in the middle.

The kiss was a mess of chapped lips and clicking teeth, but Connor still grinned like an idiot when they pulled away.  _ If there's a god out there, then thank you so fucking much for this moment. _ With a small giggle, he leaned back in, and this time they stayed like that for what seemed like hours, lips softly moving with inexperienced synchronicity.

And god, it was beautiful.

When they finally parted, it was a while before either of them spoke. Connor finally broke the silence, to his own surprise. “Uh.”  _ Wow, Connor. So eloquent. _ “So, uh. Wow.”

“You’re adorable,” Evan giggled. Connor could feel the blush creeping up his face as he realised how disheveled Evan looked, all messy hair and swollen lips. And he was still wearing Connor’s hoodie.

“We, uh. We should probably talk...about this. At some point. Possibly.” This was probably the least coherent Connor had ever been, bar the time he had gotten high off his ass on brownies and almost broke his own nose from face-planting on the floor because he couldn’t properly judge the distance between himself and his bed. That had not been a fun time. This, on the contrary, was as close to heaven as Connor hoped to get.

“Yeah, we should. But right now, I just...I just wanna kiss you,” Evan smiled.

Connor couldn’t help but oblige.

The next morning, Connor woke up with Evan in his arms. During the night, their legs had somehow gotten tangled together, and Evan’s hand was now in Connor’s hair. As Connor leaned down to kiss the top of Evan’s head, he felt him stir.

“Morning,” Connor smiled. Evan hummed in response and nuzzled into Connor’s side. “Alright, Evan, we gotta get up. I need to pee.”

“Mmph. If you pee on me I’ll break up with you.”

Connor snorted. “Are we even dating? I asked you out, and we made out a bit, but like, are we…” he made a shrugging motion.

“This is not a morning conversation, Connor. ‘M too tired.” Evan’s voice was scratchy from sleep, and surprisingly free of stutters compared to his normal voice.

“You’re also too cute. Now, I gotta get up, let go of me,” Connor laughed.

“Ugh. Fine.” Evan unwound his arms from around Connor, releasing him with a pout. Connor bent down to kiss him lightly on the forehead, before standing up and making his way to the bathroom.

_ Thank fuck it’s a Saturday, _ Connor thought as he returned to the bedroom, where Evan had somehow fallen back asleep. “Heyyyyyyy, Evan. Evan. Ev. Evan. Evanescence. Evangelie. Evantown. Evan...fuck, I can’t think of any more nicknames. Evan. Evan. Evan!”

A groaning noise emanated from the blankets. Connor poked the slowly stirring boy. “Come on. I gotta take you out on a date.”

“So, where are we going again?”

“Shh. It’s a surprise. You’ll find out.”

Connor was driving, Evan sitting in the passenger seat, and their hands were intertwined. The road was clear, the sky was blue, and it was pretty much an ideal summer day. A perfect day, even.

Two boyfriends, on a perfect day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on the bright side, the last chapter is almost finished so y'all can expect that pretty soon!  
> comment kudos etc, ily'all!


	7. a concert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn me actually updating this fic?? and it's the last chapter??? wild  
> also holy shit it's the last chapter  
> hope y'all enjoy!

“You ready to head out?” Connor asked, poking his head into the bedroom.

“H-hang on! I just need, uh, I just gotta get m-my socks on!”

“Come on, Ev, we’re gonna be late for the opening act!”

It was five years after Connor had asked Evan out, and they had started dating. Connor had come up with the idea for their anniversary, and they were about to leave their shared apartment.

They were going to a Cavetown concert.

“Alright, I’m r-ready.”

Connor smiled at Evan, and leaned down to peck him on the lips. “Come on, honey. We got a concert to go to.”

The two got into the car and drove off. As he drove, Connor slipped a hand into his pocket to make sure the small box was still there. After all, what was the use of proposing with no ring?

The opening act had been a nice, solo act. He had sung an unreleased song, and Connor had made a mental note to check him out later. Now, though, it was time for the main act. Robbie walked onstage, and the whole bar cheered. It was a relatively small venue, and Connor had almost missed out on tickets as they had sold out unbelievably fast. The bar was packed, and he was glad he had talked to the hosts beforehand.

The concert started.

It was nearing the end of the night, and Connor felt a twinge of nervousness. He was really about to do this. He was about to get on one knee and ask the love of his life to marry him. Sure, the two had talked about marriage, but it was always a distant possibility. But now, it was about to become a reality.

Connor turned to Evan and took a deep breath. “Hey, Ev,” he began.

“Yeah?” Evan’s face looked enchanting in the dim red light of the bar. Connor swallowed nervously. “What is it, Con?”

“Wait here. I gotta do a thing.” Connor kissed Evan on the nose and turned to one of the concert staff, nodding at them from across the room. The staff member smiled and beckoned him over. As Connor walked, he slipped a hand into his pocket, tracing the outline of the small velvet box with his fingertips.  _ This is it. _

Connor was escorted to the side of the small stage, and waited for the red-haired singer to finish his song - Hug All Ur Friends, one of Evan's favourites. As the last few bars of the song faded out, Robbie turned to the audience and cleared his throat. “Hey guys. So, tonight is a really special night, cause we have a special announcement. Or, when I say we, I mean this guy over here has something to say, to someone in the crowd right now.”

Connor took a deep breath and walked up onto the stage.

“Connor, the stage is yours,” the singer smiled at him. With shaky hands, Connor took the microphone, and began to speak, looking directly at Evan who stood in the crowd, eyes full of anticipation.

“So, this is for my boyfriend, Evan. Hi, Ev. Guess you probably didn't expect this, huh? But yeah, this is something I've been wanting to say for a long while now. Evan Hansen…” Connor smiled at the face of his boyfriend, illuminated against the red neon lights. “Evan, I hated everyone in high school. The teachers were all terrible, my classmates sucked, and my parents were even worse. But then...then you came along. And suddenly, humanity was worth it again. You made me feel alive again. And believe me, I felt dead for so long before I met you. The first time we met, behind the school? I haven't told you this, but that was the day I planned to...end it. Pretty much. But you came along, and for some goddamn reason, asked me how my day was. Just out of the blue. And with that, something clicked in me. You saved my life, Evan, in so many more ways than one.” Connor was definitely close to tears now, and from what he could see, Evan was too. “I know I'm not great with words, so I won't wax poetic about you, or tell you in a million different ways how much I love you. Because what we've got going is pretty good, I think. So…” he reached into his pocket and pulled out the box, dropping to one knee. “Kind of cliché, but will you marry me?”

The audience gasped but all Connor could see was Evan, only Evan, standing stock-still in the neon lights. He wasn't moving, and for a second Connor wondered if he had made the right decision.

Then, slowly, Evan nodded.

Connor's face broke out into a wide smile, and he watched as Evan made his way through the crowd, who parted as soon as they realised what was going on. He watched as Evan climbed the stairs up to the stage, and stood before him. And he let the tears fall freely as Evan nodded furiously, again and again and again.

Connor stood and held out the ring, a simply golden band with a star pattern of sapphires set into the metal. Delicately, he slipped it onto Evan's finger, as the crowd cheered, and all Connor could think was  _ I love him, I love him, I love him and I get to spend the rest of my life with him. _

The concert ended with a song. Robbie announced the last song, and told the crowd that it was a special request from the newly-engaged pair. And as the music washed over Connor and Evan, they smiled and leaned into each other's sides.

_ Sweet tooth for you _

_ My honeydew _

_ I'll see you in my garden soon _

_ Beneath the skin, it's cardiac _

_ A safety pin _

_ I like you _

_ Say it back _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow. this has been fun to write. and to think it started cause i found a new song and went "huh that's not a terrible plotline i guess"  
> please let me know what you think, i love comments of all kinds!   
> ily'all, and goodbye :)

**Author's Note:**

> yeah, connor is both a mood and a disaster, kudos, comment, etc, ily'all :)


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